Here comes the bride!

So, I’m sure that everyone has heard this scandalous, juicy bit of gossip: Kim K. is getting a divorce!!

Oooh, surprise.

No one saw that coming.

Crazy news.                                                              

Haha.

Because not only was their relationship less than a year (and I mean total time that they knew each other…….), but they were only hubby and wife for 72 days! Maybe I should repeat. 72 days!!!!

And you know, this is just normal talk for us. It seems that every day we hear of a new couple that has split, whether in the celebrity circle, political sphere, or personal realm. It’s common stuff, and quite frankly just discouraging to even the biggest of optimists. Definitely makes people not want to get married.

But to all of our relationship skeptics, there is hope!

A little bit of good news! A little pep to your step! The divorce rate has started to go down!

It climbed throughout the 60s and 70s, and eventually reached its peak in the 80s at 5.3 divorces per 1,000 people. Finally, the rate has decreased by one-third to 3.6 divorces per 1,000 people.

And this is why: The age at first marriage (for both men and women) has gotten significantly higher over the past 50 years.

If we scale back to just over fifty years ago—1960—the average age of first marriage for men and women was 22.8 and 20.3 years old, respectively.

(Keep in mind that if this were still true, I might currently be married. Definitely a scary thought, and one I would not hope for.)

And for 2010, the numbers had gone up to 28.2 and 26.1—about a six-year difference for both groups.

Now, there are many reasons for this increase in marital age. But in my opinion, it is due to emerging adulthood and all of its consequences. Younger generations have postponed marriage for a variety of reasons, some of which include graduate school and higher education or career advancement.

Or you know, maybe this delay is simply due to personal growth—finding out who you are (and what you really want!) before rushing to the alter. Because that would be a really good idea—and good for all of the parties involved. Namely—children.

If most of divorces in America are due to “irreconcilable difference,” maybe much of the problem is that engaged couples don’t know too much about each other. And if we look back at Kim Kardashian, this seems to be the reason for the 72-day marriage.

Of course, there are those rare cases. Two of my roommates both have parents that wed in their late teens (at 19-years old, to be specific.) Both couples are still together, and happily married. But this is definitely not something that you hear about often, because I’m sure that I am not alone in saying that I know more friends with divorced parents, than those with married parents.

Fortunately, the divorce rate is decreasing and I’m glad to say that this is accomplished by the younger generations. And so in this case, it seems okay to live in your parents’ house for a couple of years longer, and put off graduation until a few years down the road. It’s all in the hope for lower divorce rates, and happier marriages!

LOL. 

Doing it for my family!

So far, my blog on emerging adulthood has turned into one primarily dedicated to a discussion on higher education.

And really, it’s been a pretty biased one—I have been critiquing the institution right and left. (What is the benefit of college? Is it worth the costs? Does it really equate with adulthood and maturity?) Yadda yadda yadda.

So now to all of my readers, I must offer some sort of apology. I must seem like the world’s biggest opponent of higher education! Someone who can’t stand where she’s at, and who can’t wait to get out of it! When in reality, I am in college—and one that definitely has its faults (namely, tuition)—and yet I’m having a blast!

(Obviously, there are those G.E. classes on the Incas, or on English poetry and what not. I can live without those.) But generally, I’m learning a lot about myself, and having a fabulous time in doing so…Meeting the most interesting people, and having those infamous all nighters.

Not to mention, this is the undergraduate education I need in order to apply for med school!

And you know, I almost feel guilty about all of the critiquing I’ve been doing.  Because every time I’ve written something negative about higher education, I’m reminded of something that my mother used to tell my older sister and me. She was speaking about her own mother, and how in the years prior to her early death, she constantly emphasized the importance of education and how it can take you from any stage in life to the highest levels of success.

Because no matter what, you will always have your education.

And boy, could my mom take this to the next level… If you have an education, you will always be self-sufficient, and capable of making your own decisions. It will establish your independency for the future. And finally, one day, it will help you to provide for your family—something that every parent will do anything to accomplish.  

I think this is something that all second generation kids can relate too. For instance, in my family, both of my parents grew up in very humble households. My mother worked in the family shop—in between her university classes, and my father was the first in his family to finish high school. And after coming to America, they lived in New York Apartments infested with cockroaches, struggling to make ends meet all for the future family they would have.

And so now—knowing all that my parents have done for my sisters and me—I would love nothing more than to make them proud. To receive an education, so that I could be a more complete, and more knowledgeable person and that one day, I can provide for my parents when they are not able to anymore.

(Oh, and to also pay them back for my $200,000 college tuition debt!!! Eeeek.)

A Look into Community College

I remember three main things about Freshman Orientation:

1) Meeting so many new people

2) Talking SO FAST in order to meet all of these people

3) Getting countless pieces of paperwork and informational packets

And of these informational packets (how to manage your time in college, how to meet professors, how to make friends, the usual How To’s), I received a handout that outlined the next four years of college—as a biological sciences major.

“Take these four classes this semester. Take these the next,” and so on… until you graduate college in 2013. And the verbal advice that I was given:

Freshman/ Sophomore Year: Begin volunteering in a hospital or get lab experience. Or better yet, do both!

Junior Year: Prep for your MCATS. Take your MCATs.

Senior Year: Apply! And make sure you get in.

It didn’t quite occur to me then, but achieving a science degree is honestly a science in itself: Do this. Do that. Don’t do that, and you’re golden!

And now, back to my current situation, and fast-forwarded two full years..

While many of my friends have started taking their MCAT preparatory classes—or have even taken the test already—I have just started on the volunteering stage. I am now a volunteer in the post-partum department of a hospital in Santa Monica where I have met other student volunteers, also on the pre-med path.

Two of the girls I work with both go to community colleges, and told me that they had specifically chosen that route to medical school—rather than just going to a four-year undergraduate university. They said: with smaller classroom sizes, it’s much easier to meet professors and receive one-on-one help on materialà better grades, better letters of rec, and thus, admission into other undergraduate schools or to medical school.

(Now, this definitely got me a little riled up. I specifically remember USC tour guides boasting of an average classroom size of 26 students. I’m pretty sure every single one of my science classes has had an average of 300 students…… Just putting that out there.)

And it was pretty clear after talking to these girls that they had no doubt about acceptance into USC and UCLA in the next year, and possibly into an Ivy. It seemed like a done deal, and definitely a less stressful path to university/med school (only two courses a semester!)

After hearing about the advantages of community college, I was reminded of a Facebook status posted by this guy from my high school. Honestly, I didn’t know this kid well, but from what I did know, he had no interest in academia, did a lot of drugs, and partied a little too much in high school. He ended up not attending a four-year university, and eventually enrolled in a nearby community college. This past summer he wrote this status:

“Talked to the UC Davis counselor today…I’m going to be going in the fall…LMAO to all the nerds who got into UC Davis straight outta high school…I’ve been doing whatever the fuck I want and now I’m where you guys are at…and I’ll be going even higher.”

Hmm…

So here, I’ve come across polar personalities that have gone through the community college route in order to get to a 4-year university. Obviously, I know it requires a lot of hard work to succeed in any given environment, but I just wonder why 4-year colleges are so highly regarded. It’s like we’re all ending up at the same place! Regardless of our backgrounds, we are ending up at the same schools, and with the same credentials. What specifically are college institutions providing for us, other than just a good reputation?

Something I’ve been thinking about..

Another article on Steve Jobs

I woke up from a nap this afternoon to my roommate’s words: Steve Jobs has passed.

And three hours later, I think it’s safe to say that everyone has heard. And everyone is reading about it. Myself included. I got lost in descriptions of Jobs: He was a visionary, a man who changed the face of technology, communication and entertainment, and someone who will forever be remembered along the likes of Edison and Einstein.

And he was also—as I had forgotten until just recently—a college dropout.

I re-watched his 2005 Stanford commencement speech, and this time paying scrutinous attention to his “three stories.”

In the first, he spoke of leaving Reed College, a decision he described as one of the best of his life.

In the second, about his work with Apple, and his premature termination from the company.

And finally, in the third, about death.

And it was this third segment that really hit hard:

Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

And it is with these words that emerging adulthood can be explained. In a time where many people criticize our generation (after all, we are often called Generation Me—those that are lazy, self-centered, and entitled)—Steve Jobs give us a reason to keep going as we are. This time in our lives is a time of change, and honestly, who cares if we take the time now to find our passions and dedicate our lives to just that.

Clearly, Jobs had it right.

And I’m not just saying this because he dropped out of college, and ended up creating one of the most successful companies of our time. It is because he lived every day of his life with the idea that if one day he looked in the mirror and didn’t like what he was doing, he would change it.

So in short, here’s what I got from his speech. Make the most of your life, because it will undoubtedly come to an end. Because if on this soul-searching, self-defining journey, you find that college is not for you—or for that matter, any of our socially defined milestones in life is not for you—follow your own path and do what makes you happy. And as cheesy as it sounds, it really is that simple.

And quite funny.

Because I find myself wondering just why his words seem so powerful now.. I mean, I thought it was a good speech the first time around. Is it simply a byproduct of exposure and repetition? Or more likely, is it because they are the words of a dead man?

(Sorry to be blunt. But I think that’s needed.)

We are all going to die, and so life will eventually end. Make the most of it, and take the time now to figure out what that means.